I've
been reflecting on people referred to as "survivors" and the traits
peculiar to them as opposed to others not necessarily labelled as
survivors. Those people that exhibit a gift for going through life
challenges that, on the surface, daunt others. Those individuals that
live through things most of the population never have to deal with; who
face difficulties that seem horrendous and come through
them seemingly unscathed -- ready to face another day. What is their
motivation to survive? Where does their will to overcome these
challenges come from? Is it mere habit? Are they just old souls that
don't know any better? Have they been reincarnated so many times that
it's just all they know to do? Have they been given a special gift? Do
they love life more than the rest of us? Do they have loved ones that
couldn't live without them and they live for them? Or can they not live
without their loved ones and they survive to live another day with
them? What if they aren't really tied to anyone? What then? What do
THEY survive for? Do they survive just to say they survived? Is it in
the genes? Is it hard-wired into them? Maybe it runs in families, in
certain types of personalities or in the birth order. Or in how many
tragedies they have witnessed before the first life challenge presents
itself... and they have had time to think about the nature of tragedy
and how it unfolds.
Tragedy unfolds one simple moment at a
time... it doesn't unfold all at once. Some moments are more horrific
than others, some moments hurt more than others, but it only lasts for a
moment, then it's over. Another moment starts and takes the last
moment's place and it's not quite as bad... or it's worse and you laugh
because you thought the last moment was so awful. You just have to
hold on then it's over, and you can start again in the next moment.
Maybe that's it; when you've seen enough tragedy -- when you've had so
many challenges that you understand the nature of tragedy -- it becomes
YOUR nature. You just figure it out. You know that moments don't last
forever; only forever is forever.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Hello, It's Me...
If I were to describe my life to you now and compare it to my life of two years ago you might doubt it was the same person. LOL Many dreams have come true over these two years, many life experiences have taken place that naturally do in life, and then some experiences have altered my short term plans in a big way. I'm at a point where I need to... RE-ALIGN is the only word that is coming to me. Huh... I like that. Re-align with the Universe. OK. That works for me. I labeled my illness and resulting lobectomy and surgeries "Debi's Detour". I think this can be the "Realignment". Oops, gonna have to Google "re-align" and "realign".
I'm tired, I'm in pain, my brain fog is overwhelming right now (to the point of scary), and I have so much work to do to prepare for homelessness. That's a lot of things to bring into alignment.
Yep. I like that term. I need to realign the negative perception I have about my recent experiences with the serenity I found through the trials of those experiences. Through meditation, serious study and contemplation I was able to find my peaceful place; my "go to" place, my Nirvana if you will. It happened during the process of the second surgery in February 2013. I had an overwhelming feeling that I wasn't going to make it through that, and at some level I still believe my time is ticking by quicker than it was before - and that's one of the things I need to accept. I have come to understand that I cannot get back to living without acknowledging that I am dying. Several times I thought I had accepted death, and maybe I did. Or maybe I just gave up... I mean, when you're comatose the thinking process isn't very sharp. I don't remember being aware of much during that time; I was in and out of consciousness. I had an understanding, though, that I was going to die if Dr. Miller couldn't figure out what was wrong. He did though, obviously, and I IMMEDIATELY moved on to the next (simultaneous) crisis in my life -- my divorce and the death of my Father.
A big positive recently; I have found a sister from one of my prior lives. I was a mermaid [SHOCK! -- Alert the media!!!] in a prior life, but it was a life I lived very long ago, indeed. I mean eons. We were very close sisters. Her name was Clarissa, mine was Emily. The night we realized this was incredibly emotional, to say the least. I'll blog about that another time. It's just so validating when you recognize someone, and they recognize you, from one of their past lives and immediately knows who you are, what you are, and loves you. I just kept saying, "I FOUND YOU! I FOUND YOU!" People thought we were nuts. No. I'm pretty sane. Just "re-aligning", thank you.
Namaste, my friends,
Your Mermaid
I'm tired, I'm in pain, my brain fog is overwhelming right now (to the point of scary), and I have so much work to do to prepare for homelessness. That's a lot of things to bring into alignment.
Yep. I like that term. I need to realign the negative perception I have about my recent experiences with the serenity I found through the trials of those experiences. Through meditation, serious study and contemplation I was able to find my peaceful place; my "go to" place, my Nirvana if you will. It happened during the process of the second surgery in February 2013. I had an overwhelming feeling that I wasn't going to make it through that, and at some level I still believe my time is ticking by quicker than it was before - and that's one of the things I need to accept. I have come to understand that I cannot get back to living without acknowledging that I am dying. Several times I thought I had accepted death, and maybe I did. Or maybe I just gave up... I mean, when you're comatose the thinking process isn't very sharp. I don't remember being aware of much during that time; I was in and out of consciousness. I had an understanding, though, that I was going to die if Dr. Miller couldn't figure out what was wrong. He did though, obviously, and I IMMEDIATELY moved on to the next (simultaneous) crisis in my life -- my divorce and the death of my Father.
A big positive recently; I have found a sister from one of my prior lives. I was a mermaid [SHOCK! -- Alert the media!!!] in a prior life, but it was a life I lived very long ago, indeed. I mean eons. We were very close sisters. Her name was Clarissa, mine was Emily. The night we realized this was incredibly emotional, to say the least. I'll blog about that another time. It's just so validating when you recognize someone, and they recognize you, from one of their past lives and immediately knows who you are, what you are, and loves you. I just kept saying, "I FOUND YOU! I FOUND YOU!" People thought we were nuts. No. I'm pretty sane. Just "re-aligning", thank you.
Namaste, my friends,
Your Mermaid
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