That may be an odd title my first blog back from my move but I have thought a lot about my friends, especially you guys - the ones I expect to help keep me honest, spiritually centered, and humble.
I am in my new apartment complex's business center that, until only moments ago, was quiet and calm. It is now a bit less than that because the TV (yes, there is a TV in the business center for the kids to watch, I guess, while their parents use the computers???) has just been switched on. However, a sweet little girl (with no parent in sight) asked if I wanted her to turn it down so I could concentrate and I told her that would be very nice. So at least I can still hear myself think.
So much has happened during this move. I moved about 7 times (I lost count) during my marriage to Michael. I did the moves alone because Michael was always already working at the new location (I think he did that on purpose - what do you think?) so I REALLY know how to do this schtick. I plan carefully, check and double-check with people. But this move has been a NIGHTMARE. Never have I had so many things go wrong, and so much unwanted, unsolicited advice from "friends" on what I should have done and what I could have done better (which, of course, I had already done anyway and was just too tired or didn't care enough to tell them that). Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I have come to the conclusion that most everyone I knew in Greensboro thought I was an idiot. All the more reason that I'm glad to be out of there. Never have I had more people call me a "friend" and disappear when the going got rough than when I was in Dallas and I got diagnosed with Lupus. Friends my ass. But, enough of that. Everyone knows friends disappear when you move. So be it. True friends are few and far between. It is a truly bright reflection on me that behavior of this type surprises me. I have been blessed with TRUE friendship because I give true friendship back. When people are honest with me about what is going on in their lives I suit up and show up if I am at all physically able. If I'm not physically able I think outside the box and get on the phone and make things happen. And, it is also true, that we don't want everyone to know how bad things are at times.
So it's not about the moving thing so much. It's really about Greensboro. It's this funny little town unto itself. As I talked about leaving town (and I think I referred to this in a prior blog) many people mentioned that they longed to get out of Greensboro, and many of the ones that mentioned it are now making plans to do just that. The South may be friendly but it is also a "clique". If you don't fit into that little "clique-ish" group you'd better be damn sure you're strong enough to fight them on your own, or get out. I fought it on my own for awhile, and found a group I fit with for a time, but life is about being happy, not about fighting a battle every time you go out in public. I knew a place where I would be happy because - save for a very troubled husband - I was deliriously happy there before.
GUESS WHAT? I am again happy! I haven't taken this shit-eating grin off my face since I got here. I had a bit of a melt down yesterday... that has to be expected I suppose. I still face several uphill battles, unfortunately. I am going to overcome them, but it will take some time and a lot of effort, and quite a bit of money. Those dumb movers didn't do their job correctly so I still have to figure out how to get about one quarter of my stuff to Florida, my cracked rib is MUCH better, thank you, I only have my storage unit in Greensboro until September 30th without paying more money, and many more issues. I will blog on all of it simply because it helps me come to terms with all of it. OH - and for my dear Loopies out there, the first woman I met at my first Singles Meetup has LUPUS! The Universe works in strange ways. And who cares about the guys that were there (they were all creeps anyway). I'm celibate now. Tune in next time! LOL
Love and Peace to you all.
Namaste
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Nice to see you back online in blogland, Debs. I was wondering how you were making out. Happy to see that you survived "the move". One thing to be said about virtual net friendships over physical real time in-your-face ones is that they're portable, spiritual, inner personality in nature - not so flighty, superficial and judgemental. But, of course, should a net friendship not work out then no need to move, just block the villiage idiot online from reaching you. Much cheaper that way!
ReplyDeleteNamaste back at ya! :-)