The Best Laid Plans...

There are so many things going on while I'm here in Oklahoma... a friend that was loved dearly by one and all in our Meetup group has died - from what I gather is suspicious circumstances (we are waiting for the medical examiner's report... THAT'S never good any way you look at it) and I am deeply bothered by this. He was ALWAYS upbeat and happy and thought of others long before he would consider himself. That always set off bells, lights, and whistles in me, but that's just my way of thinking. Anyway, recently I suggested to him that we start a book together of gratitude for our particular Meetup. I was serious about it but had been busy with another "situation" in my life and had not gotten back with him about it. Now, I don't blame myself (if it comes to anything like that) for something that might have happened, but it gives me pause to consider what this man might have been going through... those are just my preliminary thoughts. Again, we are waiting on the medical examiner's report. Namaste my friend, David.

My "other situation" has been with an 18 year-old who aged out of foster care and was on her way to a new life. That new life didn't work out and I was doing my best to help her, and protecting my own self at the same time -- knowing full well that situations like this can be risky in more ways than one. Let's just say that no good deed goes unpunished and I am "persona non grata" in her life now. So be it. I am not a parent, though, and am not used to these feelings of betrayal and watching someone make HORRIBLE choices knowing full well what awaits them. I mean, I have nieces, but my nieces have made pretty good choices, and I am still in touch with both of them (THANK GOD!!!) and I think they both still want me in their lives (I hope it stays that way). I was SO unprepared for the hurt I felt. Without the help of the General Manager here at the hotel I don't know where I would have turned for solace. Talk about above and beyond the call of duty... LOL I am emotionally in her debt, and I know the Universe is watching out for me.

I am loved, and alive, and so lucky to be me and have the intelligence, the upbringing, the friends, all the things that have come together to make me who I am -- including all the bad stuff. That's made me able to understand some of this better than I would have been able to had I had a "gifted" life. I learned a new saying today from a friend here: It is an old Asian saying: "May you have an interesting life." Ahhh, yes. I think I can say I have had an "interesting life". I wouldn't have it any other way. LOL